Five More NFL QBs That Deserve to Be Punched in the Face

Smith’s attacker was clearly not intimidated by this face

In the wake of New York Jets quarterback Geno Smith being sidelined indefinitely by an unfortunate face punching incident, it’s important to note that there are several more NFL QBs who are equally deserving of a knuckle sandwich.

This maniac has seven children

5.  Philip Rivers

When he’s not mishandling a snap, taking a delay of game penalty or producing an unwieldy number of offspring, San Diego Chargers QB Phil Rivers is dog cussing pretty much anybody within a 30 yard radius. Fail to catch a screen pass that he threw before you turned to look for it? Get ready for an earful. Get bowled over by the middle linebacker stunting through the B-gap? Feel the Rivers wrath. No one is safe. Imagine what it’s like to be this guy’s paperboy, or bagging his groceries? “EGGS ON TOP, EGGS ON TOP. WHERE YOU GOING WITH THAT LOAF OF BREAD? FIGURE IT OUT. LET’S GO.” This guy needs to be punched in the face.

Celebrating getting paid for face punches

4.  Johnny Manziel

It’s kind of tough to call a guy who plays for the Browns and has these career stats an NFL QB, but at least for the time being Manziel is drawing an NFL paycheck. Between the privileged childhood, the douchey money celebration and traveling everywhere with a man servant/hype man/sycophant who calls himself “Uncle Nate,” no one would argue that Johnny Football isn’t deserving of a punch in face.

“This guy needs to be punched in the face.” – woman sitting behind him

3.  Jameis Winston

He was accused of rape, an accusation that will follow him forever since the Tallahasee PD never bothered to investigate his accuser’s claims. He stole some crab legs, and then doubled down on the notoriety of that transgression by serving crab legs at his NFL draft party. He also showed up on the sideline, in full uniform, to a game in which he was suspended for standing on a table and screaming “fuck her right in the pussy” in the middle of a crowded Florida State University quad. He may end up turning it all around and becoming a good player, but that doesn’t mean that someone shouldn’t punch this guy in the face.

This guy’s barber needs to be punched in the face

2.  Russell Wilson

Not only did he choose to abstain from pre-marital sex with his girlfriend Ciara after a personal conversation with his main man Jesus, who he apparently has on speed dial, but he insisted on broadcasting this information to the public as some sort of badge of honor. He’s also a guy that didn’t show the requisite amount of disappointment over losing the Super Bowl on a play designed specifically to give him the victory shine. Also, what’s up with that haircut? This guy needs a punch in the face.

History’s most punchable face

1.  Jay Cutler

Look at that face. Take a good long look at it. This is a face that was made for punching. This is a face that all punches in the face aspire to be. It’s pretty shocking that this face doesn’t receive a good punching pretty much every day. Based solely on having that face, Jay Cutler should get a good punch in the face.

One thought on “Five More NFL QBs That Deserve to Be Punched in the Face”

  1. Agree 100%. Really enjoy you, Ed, and Fancee. Fyi – emailed Herman Marshall to inquire about shipping tp PA, mentioned that I heard about them on the Podcast

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