One Year to “Future Day”: What Needs to Happen for Back to the Future II to Prove True

future date
Future Day

In the beginning of Back to the Future Part II, Doc Brown brought Marty and his girlfriend, Jennifer, on a journey to Wednesday, October 21, 2015 – exactly one year from today.  The fast-paced, technologically-advanced future was mind-blowing to 1985 Marty.  You know who else would be blown away by BTFF II’s view of the future?  Everyone living today.  Here’s what will have to come true in the next year if BTTF II’s future is to become reality.

Empty out your closet, you’re gonna need a new wardrobe.

"All kids in the future wear their pants inside out."
“All kids in the future wear their pants inside out.”

Immediately after landing in 2015 Hill Valley, Marty was given a new wardrobe by Doc so he could pass for a contemporary youth.  Apparently, his jeans, short-sleeved button-down, and suspenders were completely out of line.  “All kids in the future wear their pants inside out,” Doc informed Marty.  He then outfitted Marty with a self-fitting jacket, a color-shifting baseball cap, and a new pair of shoes.  Well, covering up Marty’s suspenders made perfect sense (because what person under the age of 70 wears suspenders?) but it’s tough to take a man seriously while he’s wearing silver wraparound sunglasses, a yellow lab coat, and a clear, plastic tie.

The timeless two-tie look.
Lookin’ sharp, future Marty.

But Doc Brown had a point.  A quick walk through town revealed nobody wears anything resembling today’s clothing.  Out with navy blues, grays, browns, and blacks.  In with all those weird colors nobody uses at the back of the Crayola 64 box.  When it comes to work attire, not only has the recent trend of men-not-wearing-ties reversed but professionals in 2015 wear two ties!

Pasta-Straining Hats
Pasta-Straining Hats

Comfort is out when it comes to casual wear.  Hats now resemble metal colanders.  Everything will be big and bulky.  It will be a lot like 1982, just without the Hall & Oates.

The Good News:  With technology in Fall 2015 allowing us to have clothing that dries itself and shoes equipped with power laces, life gets much easier.

The Bad News:  Can you imagine the tragic consequences of having a toilet emergency while wearing inside-out jeans?

Airlines and John Travolta won’t be the only people flying the friendly skies.

Flying Car
“Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”

As soon as the Delorean hit 88 miles per hour in 1985 at the beginning of the movie, Marty was transported to a 2015 highway in the sky.  That’s right.  Flying cars are finally due to arrive next year.  For the reasonable price of $39,000, cars can go through a “hover conversion” that turns them into “highway fliers.”  Gone are the days of traffic clogging the streets.  Most distance transportation is airborne.

People in the future don't finish their beer, apparently.
Unfortunately, it appears that Miller Genuine Draft beer is still a thing in 2015.

That $39,000 price becomes even more reasonable when you realize paying for fuel is no longer a thing.  In the near future, a company called Mr. Fusion will invent a contraption that converts household waste into fuel – from banana peels to beer floaters.

If the car breaks down, the sneaker express might be your best option.  Taxi fares skyrocket in late 2015.  Marty’s taxi fare from going from one side of Hilldale to another is $174.50, more expensive than using Uber in 2014 to go from Los Angeles to San Diego.

Mattel_Hoverboard
Something to take the focus off those shoes.

The technological boom of the next year won’t be solely for the grown-ups.  Kids get around town in cool hover-boards and hover-scooters.  Farewell, skinned knees and loose teeth caused by treacherous cracks in uneven sidewalks.  So long, dog poop-covered wheels.

The Good News:  Thanks to Mr. Fusion, the world can enjoy a complete independence from oil.  No more BP disasters.  No more OPEC conflicts.  No more paying staggering amounts every time there’s a gas shortage.

The Bad News:  Modern vehicles in 2015 don’t appear to have doors.  People are forced to enter and exit through an overhead hatch, like an F-14.  That’s all well and good for a spry 17 year old.  But for a middle aged person with a balky knee?  That’s going to be a problem.

Buckle-up, Legal System.

usa today cover
Slow news day?

Sweeping changes in the legal system should be expected any day now.  According to Doc, “The justice system works swiftly now that they’ve abolished all lawyers.”  In October 2015, things speed up to the point where people can be arrested, tried, and convicted within two hours.

Despite the overcrowding in jails as a plague to the state of California, it appears they are poised to increase sentences for crimes across the board.  Simple theft increases from it’s current maximum of three years in the pokey to a whopping 15 years in the slammer!   Helping someone attempt to escape the gray bar hotel goes from an average of 16 months to twenty years!

Apparently the harsh sentencing will serve as a rather large deterrent, however.  The USA Today’s front page on October 23rd, 2015 features the arrest of a local California teen for theft.  Clearly global conflict is a thing of the past by next year.

The Good News:  With no drawn-out trials, it’s safe to assume Nancy Grace will be cancelled in short order.

The Bad News:  The only thing worse than 1.1 million lawyers working in America is having 1.1 million unemployed lawyers roaming the streets with nothing to do.

Hope you don’t feel too attached to your kitchen, living room, smartphone, tablet, or the view out your window.

 

Why look outside when you can look at non-HD scenery instead?
Why look outside when you can look at non-HD scenery instead?

One peek inside the 2015 McFly home reveals a much different home experience.  The windows are now covered by non-HD scenery channels.  Why look outside when you will have a grainy view of the Taj Mahal at your disposal?

food hydrator
Death, taxes, and Americans inventing new foods to eat.

Clutter in the kitchen will be a thing of the past as there is a decreased need of any of the appliances we now know.  Ovens, stoves, and microwaves have been replaced by a food hydrator.  A hockey puck-sized disc can be instantly transformed to a delicious pizza in three seconds.  A remote control causes a vibrant garden to drop down from the ceiling.  Endless food is at your disposal.  Well, actually, that sounds a lot like 2014 America.

video conference
No more answering the phone in your underwear.

Despite the recent iPhone 6 launch, smartphones are nowhere to be found by Fall of next year.  If the phone rings, get ready for a unspeakable horror.  All phones work like Facetime.  Not only is avoiding a call no longer an option, not being seen is no longer an option either.  If you’re watching TV, your screen instantly changes to said interactive call so you can be face-to-face with the rude individual who callously interrupted you.

future tv
What’s going on in that upper-right corner, Marty?

Speaking of TV, it is now consumed at home like you’re a patron in a sports bar.  Six televisions run concurrently.  Multitasking is no longer emailing while watching TV.  It involves consuming six voices at once.  Happily, none of the six screens in the McFly household were tuned to NBC’s prime time lineup.

Like distressed jeans, fax machines are back.
Like distressed jeans, fax machines are back.

Finally, I hope you didn’t throw out that fax machine fifteen years ago.  Faxes are back in 2015.  Instead of wasting time worrying about why, it might be a better use of your energy to invest in International Paper.  A paper storm is coming.

The Good News:  A world without having to figure out what wattage your microwave is when reading cooking instructions.

The Bad News:  Having no phone to stare at when standing near your neighbor in the supermarket line.

If you’re in the service industry, you might want to polish the resume. 

Devastating news for the dog-walking profession.
Devastating news for the dog-walking profession.

October 2015 is an automated society.  Auto shops, waste management, restaurants, and even dog walking no longer rely on humans.  It should be a vast improvement on current customer experience.  After all, who has ever found automated phone services anything less than spectacular?

There is good news for the employes of the beleaguered US Postal Service, however.  They are still in business but continue to be the butt of jokes.  Hey, at least you have a job, right?

The Good News:  No more food servers that try to remember your order without writing it down but, inevitably, fail.

The Bad News:  If you thought Starbucks was full of way too many out-of-work actors writing terrible screenplays, wait until all the bartending and food-serving jobs disappear.

Get ready for a long life.  

doc-mask
Sadly, it doesn’t appear there’s any way to fix hairstyles at the rejuvenation clinic.

As Marty is changing into his 2015 clothes, Doc Brown tells him about the wonderful world of “rejuvenation clinics,” which offer a “whole natural overhaul.”  Gone are wrinkles, receding hairlines, and failing organs.  A quick trip to the clinic and you can add three or four decades to your life.

With these types of advances in medical sciences, sports as we know it will be tremendous.  The world’s fastest man will be able to run the 100 meter dash in five seconds.  Home runs will travel 1000 feet.  Lebron will no longer have to sew together nine headbands to cover his fading hairline.

The Good News:  A longer, healthier life means more experiences, more time with loved ones, more time to relax.

The Bad News:  This means Ryan Seacrest is NEVER going away.

Major League Baseball is in for a pretty big shakeup.

Your 2015 World Series Champions - The Chicago Cubs!
Your 2015 World Series Champions – The Chicago Cubs!

Marty learns that the Chicago Cubs win the 2015 World Series in a sweep over Miami.  Despite finishing the 2014 season with a 73-89 record, the Cubs are expected to cruise to their first championship in 107 years.

Miami Alligators?
Miami Alligators?

Miami fans should also be quite pleased with the results as well.  After all, their 77-85 record in 2014 doesn’t exactly scream “championship ready.”  By next year, they’ll be in the World Series!  Let’s hope the fans weren’t too attached to the National League or the nickname Marlins, though.  As of right now, the Marlins play in the NL East.  Since the Cubs have been in the National League forever, it looks like Miami will be following the Astros to the Junior Circuit.  And the mascot in the hologram looks like an alligator or a crocodile.  Either way, that will have to change.

Finally, the USA Today headline about this series reveals the win happened in game 5, even though it was a sweep.  Guess they’re moving to a best-of-9 series.

The Good News:  Good for Cubs fans.  They’ve been waiting long enough.

The Bad News:  All these changes will have miniature blowhard Bob Costas pontificating for years.

Save up and enjoy the ride.  

If you can get past the fact that Doc Brown casually uses an electronic “sleep-inducing alpha rhythm generator” on Marty’s girlfriend, which is essentially a futuristic version of Rohypnol, the future is looking bright.  So, go get tranked (future talk for drunk) and save your money.  Seems like we’re going to have to buy a lot of new stuff.

Follow Ed Daly (@ezeddaly) on Twitter

The Baller Lifestyle is a sports and pop culture website and podcast.  Like us on Facebook.  Podcast can be found on iTunes and Stitcher.  

24 thoughts on “One Year to “Future Day”: What Needs to Happen for Back to the Future II to Prove True”

  1. unless I somehow missed it. You forgot to mention the 14(I believe) Jaws’ sequels that need to be made and released by next year. Max Spielberg better get on the ball!

  2. You bojo! The MGD beer can is found in the trash in 1985 and used in Mr. Fusion. It does not come from 2015.

  3. What about the newspaper headlines? Hasn’t anyone paused the movie to read it? I’d like to know more abóut Queen Diana!

  4. As Doc points out in BTTF III, Mr. Fusion controls the time circuits, but to get up to 88, the needed the train because Marty got an arrow which put a hole in the fuel line. Still internal combustion on the Delorean!

  5. The beer was 1985.

    And the 174.50 taxi ride was biff following doc and marty from hill valley to hillsdale.
    you sir are another who shouldnt be allowed to speak. pleasr do the world a favor take this page down then commit suicide

  6. I thought it was pockets that are worn inside out, not pants.
    Where are the top loading cars? The police car had doors.
    I’m looking forward to seeing women in skimpy clothing next year.

    1. Pants are worn inside out, but to save time Doc had Marty pull out his pockets so it looked like they were.

  7. I’m still waiting for this person who wrote this, to go back 2 days ago, so that they can get the facts about the movie right, before i continue to read this.

  8. Adding to the list of things wrong with this article, oil is still a thing in 2015. We see a robot-operated Texaco station servicing a car. And the price of regular unleaded will skyrocket to over $8 per gallon.

  9. How can we have all of that next year if we have not got any of it now?
    How is Speilburg supposed to make 10 more Jaws films by then?

    1. i thought nike made the shoes that lace them self up like in the movie but if you want them they cost a grip

    2. Personally, I think that BTTF’s future is one we might have been able to have, if the Challenger and Columbia shuttle disasters hadn’t caused us in America to give up on our space program. Innovation needed to keep going, rather than grind to a halt the way it has… :(

  10. Even the weather is controlled in BTTF 2015! Pouring rain then bright and sunny 5 seconds later. And if car falls out of the sky and hits someone that person is then rotated upside down!! lol.

  11. Hey, shouldn’t we all be starting to wear/do/buy/have all this stuff now? Marty arrives in 2015 and everything is new TO HIM, but for the people living there it’s all been like this for a while. It’s a ‘lived in’ future. They got the wall mounted wafer thin huge screen TV’s right :) Keyless door entry is a thing with swipe-cards, smart locks (phone app controlled), and thumb prints used for phone security and in turn, paying for things with Apple pay. Google glass and Oculus rift are on the way too which may be what Marty Jr and Marlene are wearing at the dinner table. It looks like something must have happened in our past that has resulted in this alternate timeline where hoverboards/cars are still in the prototyping and kickstarter phase and the 90’s colours are nowhere to be seen. I think I saw someone wearing one of those t-shirts with a + and – in a circle though :)

Comments are closed.