The NFL Draft is pretty stupid. Correction: Football fans getting all tumescent about the NFL Draft is stupid. Trying to predict which player is drafted by which team in which order is tremendously stupid. So TheBallerLifestyle.com Podcast invited a couple of special guests to our world headquarters for our own draft of sorts. The first of the epic two-part inaugural Baller Lifestyle Draftstravaganza podcast, featuring special guests Travis Rodgers (@TravisRodgers) and Jason Stewart (@JasonStewart) will post here and on iTunes tonight.

What follows is a list of the Draftstravaganza categories. Feel free to play along.

Round One: Choose a fictional action hero to babysit your children.

Round Two: Choose a pre-Civil War politician to compete in punt, pass and kick.

Round Three: Select a professional athlete you feel has the highest likelihood of being arrested during a vice raid of gay bath houses (Jerry Rice is off the board, obvious reasons).

Round Four: Select a pornography genre.

Round Five: Pick a TV mom you’d like to have sex with.

Round Six: Choose a character from the greatest TV drama of all time, The Wire, to be your real life best friend.

Round Seven: Select the achilles tendon of a fictional athlete that you would like to personally sever.

Round Eight: Assume you are incarcerated and a riot breaks out in the yard. Your only choice for survival is with the assistance of a character from 1970s or 1980s sitcom. Who are you taking?

Round Nine: Select a game show host to compete in a fight-to-the-death tournament vs. other game show hosts.

Round Ten: Pick a fictional high school to attend.

Round 11: You have a time machine. It can only transport you to 1992. Select an individual to punch in the face.

Round 12: Select a current athlete purely on the basis of dinosaur resemblance (Chris Bosh is exempt, obvious reasons).